Are You Willing to Receive Support?

As a coach life balance for moms I hear many stories about how moms are busy, how many to do, and how it feels to not do everything, and while staying sane . I see many moms struggling with many responsibilities, including child care, housekeeping, shopping, cooking, caring for elderly or sick relatives working outside the home, managing budgets and invoices, planning vacation, holidays, birthdays, and family meetings, earn degrees, from new businesses - mom is really busy today! Then you throw in something extra, such as decorating, shopping, wrapping, entertaining, and travel for the holidays and many mothers hit a wall during this time of year. What should be a joyous, peaceful, time becomes a celebration of their time of great stress. I see a lot of moms wanting, perhaps even need, to do everything themselves, while feeling at the same time they do not have enough support. And I often wonder - What is this? Which is below that must do everything? And what I find is that although these mothers want support, they are often unable to accept it. For some it is the need to be in control. If they left their husbands to dinner, the meal will not be as healthy or as tasty. If they hire someone to clean their house, it will not be right. If they let the grandparents watch the kids for a weekend, the children might be spoiled. If they let the kids clean their own toys, toys are not well organized.


For others it is an inability to receive. If they accept the help of a neighbor, they feel guilty. If they left their husbands to care for children so they can take a break, they feel they benefit, and not be a good mother or wife. If another mom has a favor they can not let himself say yes.

Whatever the reasons, the underlying problem can often be more about the mentality and an unwillingness to accept, or better yet ask for the support and the practical realities of the myriad responsibilities that come with raising a family . Here are some tips to help moms start saying YES to receive support, so they can begin to get more out of balance, peace and joy they desire so much.

1. Recognize your limits. It's a difficult question for moms. We all want to be super mom. The reality is that we can not do anything without being robbed of our happiness and fulfillment. You are human. You are imperfect. You only have 24 hours in a day, just like the rest of humanity, and 8 of those hours must be devoted to sleep. Give yourself a break. Let yourself off the hook. You have permission.

2. Start with small things. To obtain a more comfortable support to start receiving with the little things, things that do not matter so much. This will help you start building the muscle to let go. It will also help you see that the world will not collapse if the laundry is not folded in exactly the way you want it to be. Clothing can get a little wrinkled and mismatched socks. But so what? Is it worth the price of your mental health and well-being?

3. Practical recognition. When you allow yourself to receive, it is easy to move quickly to negative feelings such as guilt, worthlessness and lack of control. Stop these negative thoughts in their tracks and place, allow yourself the experience of gratitude. When negative feelings creep up to just close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, look to the sky and say thank you. Thank you for the world to provide support and thank the person giving the support to be there for you. Let your self to accept and be grateful.

4. Ask for help. Because the muscle releasing built, challenge your self to begin to ask for help. Do not even wait until it is offered. It can be uncomfortable at first, but moving through the discomfort he will pay a lot of time. Remain detached from the outcome - - and sometimes ask you to say no. And it does not matter. This is actually a positive experience for the host. The experience of applying and being told no, also allows you the freedom to say no when a request is beyond your limits or capabilities. You begin to recognize that it is acceptable not to be able to meet demand. It does not make you a bad person or selfish. In fact, it makes you a person who knows how to take care of you and honor, and thus increases your ability to really take care and other honor. I can not begin to describe the degree of freedom, peace and openness that will come into your life when you allow yourself to begin to ask for help. It is truly transformative and it will change your life for the better.